So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize