At least make sure they are 18
Why
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
