can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Holy shit dude........stairs
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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