He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
