I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
