honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
