My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I didn't notice because vodka
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Randomize
