ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
