I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Randomize
