I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Randomize
