Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
