so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
