On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
i think my cat just said my name.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
