she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Randomize
