Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
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