question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize