you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
