No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
