Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
