why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
