I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
