I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
i think my cat just said my name.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
