sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize