I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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