so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
