if you like me you must not know who I am
He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
