In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
