Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
