Kareoke will never be a sober sport
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
it glows. i had to have it.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Randomize
