mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
