just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
