I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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