I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
MIDGETS
????
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
