Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
