worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
