so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
