Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
