She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
