I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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