I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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