Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
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