so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
