It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
