I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
