I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
