No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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