just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
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