Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
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