Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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