Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
