Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Randomize
