I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
