Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
