So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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