can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
