Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Rumble strips road head = magical
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
