no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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