Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
pray to the hookup gods
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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