it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
