I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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