he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Randomize
